Stuff and Things. And Crazy Looking Bikes.

So my poor little blog here is feeling neglected. It just hasn’t had so much attention lately, I guess.

Or maybe it’s not the blog that’s feeling neglected, but me. Whatever it is, I just haven’t had anything to write. Writing’s supposed to be therapeutic, they say, calculated to let you pour out all your feelings and thoughts and expressions into one cathartic experience. But lately, I’ve just been complaining. And who wants to read that? (Plus, is it really that cathartic to complain? Generally it just leads to more.)

Maybe it’s because Beijing around the Chinese New Year is so empty it makes you wonder if the Rapture really did happen and carry everyone off, leaving you behind. I haven’t noticed any piles of neatly folded clothes laying around, though, so maybe we’ll discount that explanation. Beijing really is turning into a ghost town, though. Bike parking is opening up, restaurants and grocery stores are shutting down for the next week (meaning that we need to stock up on food before it’s too late and we go on an unintentional week-long fast), and the city is actually almost quiet. Sadly, it hasn’t led to much of a decrease in pollution levels.

One thing that hasn’t completely disappeared, though, is the smart car/e-bike cross. I’ve been seeing more and more of them around lately, and they’re simply hilarious looking.

Exhibit A:

Alien transport pod, possibly?

This groovy little yellow pod meets all standard fashion requirements. With three scales covering its exterior and a warm and cozy interior, you will be set to tootle around Beijing in the latest style. Order yours today!

Exhibit B:

Almost MORE classy, isn’t it?

In case snazzy yellow-ness isn’t your thing, you can go for this army-green model that looks as though it’s seen one road trip too many. But a large windshield/dashboard combination along with some stylish yellow nursery-floor padding will be sure to keep your eyes protected and your legs warm. Our most afforable option! (I’m guessing.)

Exhibit C:

Just lovely, innit?

Very similar in style to Exhibit B, this vehicle offers just a squinch more versatility. With a fully-enclosed driver compartment, you never have to worry about your legs getting too cold. Plus, large glass windows enclose the back, making it easier to see when you’re about to get run over by a bus the panoramic views the city affords.

Exhibit D:

Now THAT’S more like it!
I thought I had a better picture of this, but no such luck.

This last option comes in a couple different colors, and is by far the most upscale of all our options. With up-to-date options like front and rear doors, along with actual working lights and no duct-tape to be seen, this is an option that the most glaringly correct could feel proud to drive. Plus, it’s easy to park!

If you’re interested in investing in any one of these lovely vehicles, come to China. They’ll all be ripe for the picking. And if you ask me nicely, I may just tell you about the time we rode in one of these lovely little bicycle vehicles and nearly fell out the floor.

Whaddaya think? Did I miss my future in writing advertising copy?

3 thoughts on “Stuff and Things. And Crazy Looking Bikes.

  1. Pingback: 2015: Year in Review | Milk and Pickles

  2. RC

    Oh, Annta. This made me laugh so hard. Especially the “run over by the bus/panoramic view of the city” part! Hahaha. This was Such an interesting and light-hearted post and I really enjoyed reading it. 😀

    1. Buses are the bane of a biker’s existence. Especially because the city planning commission in Beijing decided that the bus lanes and the bike lanes should be the same.
      Are you now planning to buy yourself one of the snazzy little bikes? I’m sure they’re a lot cheaper to maintain than a car!

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