I miss America sometimes. Living in China has been great, but some things you can only get at home.
I miss the countryside–well-kept homes butting on to freshly planted fields, tall corn nearly ripe for picking, clean snow for sledding or skiing.
I miss seeing the seasons in action as plants come up out of nothing but a tiny seed and some warm earth. They turn into beautiful flowers or firm vegetables, swelling with their abundance of life. And then the cold comes and they die, returning their fertility to the soil to prepare for the next year’s cycle.
There’s a beauty in the earth where you grow up. Roots, though not the plant kind, form to hold you to it. And when you move away, they still call.
And in China? The countryside is gray (though it probably doesn’t help that it’s winter). Skyscrapers loom over everything, abandoned and alone. They were never finished, and probably never will be.
I’m glad I can be in China, learning and growing. It’s been a great place to be. But right now? Right now, I want to see a beautiful golden field that’s well taken-care-of. I want to see wild lonely spaces that tear at your heart by their untouched beauty, with no skyscrapers in sight.
I want to breathe clean air that’s not tainted by the smells of sewers and garbage and exhaust. I want to be able to talk to everyone I see (if I wanted to, which….knowing me, I probably wouldn’t). I want to see the beauty that’s everywhere in America.
And most importantly? I want to be home.