Only in China: Chinglish Edition

This is the one you’ve all been waiting for, right? Right?

Well, even if you haven’t, I’m always ready to oblige, so here it is anyway!

Number One:

You walk by grass every day, right? Well, have you ever stopped to think about it this way?

Come on, people–we know you value life!

What I really love about this sign is just how well-cared-for this grass is. I mean, it’s green, and tall, and flourishing, right? (Oh, wait, it’s winter.)

Number two:

Possibly you’ve never thought about the grass being the “life under your feet,” but this sign is here to tell you that you really should. In its own words:


Doesn’t that just cut you to the heart? To think of all the times you’ve walked past that green grass and never cherished it! Well, you can begin today, because this sign knows what it’s talking about.

Number three:

We move away from grass here into the mundane area of food:

I’m not sure what the elephants have to do with anything.

In case you were longing for some pizza to cherish, you could go to this pizza cafe. And while there, you could eat some Leisurefood (because of course it needs to be capitalized). And then you could enjoy some little yellow elephants. All at Crazy Pizza!

Number four:

Umm–yum, I think?

Lest you be turned aside by the picture into thinking this is something you might actually consider eating, the words are there to get you right back on track. It’s like an instant diet plan–Eggs burst Mango juice, anyone? No? Well, then, you can Taro and enjoy the party.

Number Five:

This one might be sorta cheating because it’s a continuation of the same sign above–but all the names were so awful!

Well, these do look SLIGHTLY more edible, I guess. . .

If you’d rather not Taro and enjoy the party, you can Pineapple instead. Isn’t that sweet of them? And I suppose Hami melon strawberry pie is an entirely unobjectionable flavor, so there’s that.

Number six:

Still more partying, people!

Why is the cantaloupe one green, exactly?

Except this one was nice enough to provide us with Cantaloupe music! I bet that makes great dance music (and if you’re Baptist, you don’t have to dance. Just party.). And Strawberry is off by its lonesome enjoying that party. We’ve got ourselves some great sort of fruit party here.

Number seven:


Oops, wrong sign. No English at all! Let’s try again.

Oh, I’m VERY happy to send!

If you’d rather not be partying with the Taro-Pineapple-Cantaloupe Music-Strawberry crowd, you can come over here and get your Freshshake Healidrink. I’m not sure if it will turn you on your heels or shake you up or what, but at least they’re happy to send, which counts for something, right?

In the words of the immortal Bugs Bunny (who never came to China, I don’t think)–“That’s all, folks!”

If you missed out on editions one and two, head on over!

You can head on over to This Ain’t the Lyceum if you want more non-Chinglish posts.

2 thoughts on “Only in China: Chinglish Edition

  1. Caleb Nelson

    “Happy to send” = “Free delivery”? And clearly “enjoy the party” is perhaps the wrong translation of something more like what we would call “fun” flavor?

    1. I was thinking “enjoy the party” must be something like that, though that’s the only place I’ve ever seen it. And you’re probably right about “happy to send,” since delivery is a big thing here! I guess next I’ll have to do the Chinglish menu edition–seeing something with fresh meat intestinal pizza on it will do something to kill your appetite!

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