Small, Ugly, and Alone

In China, people love their pets. Specifically dogs. Dogs everywhere.

Now, I’ve heard that there are three categories for being a Chinese dog:

1. You have to be small

2. You have to be ugly

3. You have to be off-leash

Oh, you say those categories fit your small child? He might possibly be a Chinese dog.

Anyways, let’s examine a few pictures and see if they fit those criteria.

Example 1:


Definitely small, definitely ugly, and there is definitely no owner in sight. Yet the dog looks very purposeful. Chinese dogs always have a goal in mind and know how to achieve this goal. So, this dog fits our criteria like they were made for him. (Whaddaya know!)

Example 2:

Obligingly posing for the camera. Except without his face.

Small? Check.

Ugly? Check

Alone? Check.

Folks, we have found yet another Chinese dog.

Example three:

Look at it waddle!

I know this looks like nothing more than a ball of fur with a tail stuck on it, but rest assured it is a dog. However, I was unable to get a picture of it with its head, so pardon me.

Anyways, by this point you oughta know the drill: small, ugly, and alone? Bingo! (And the fact that it has little rabbit legs sticking out from under its fur doesn’t hurt anything, either).

Now that you know what Chinese dogs are, let’s move on to another example. Crazy Chinese dogs with crazy owners.

This lady (below) had about six dogs. All on the sidewalk. And she loved herding them and making them do “tricks.”

Yes, that IS a doggie chair. And Jared says the dog in the forefront is not a Chinese dog (too good-looking), lest you should think that I am simply a dog hater and think all dogs are ugly.

Now, we were peacefully walking down the sidewalk minding our own business and getting sticker shock from clothing prices (600 Yuan for a shirt? No thanks!) when we saw this dog family. At the moment, the owner was getting paid by a customer. When most of us get money, what do we do with it? We put it in our wallets or our pockets or our safes, right? Well, you’ll never guess where this lady put it.

Yes, that is money.

That’s right. She gave it to the dog. And for the next 10 minutes, he carried that money around.

Who says having money doesn’t make me king?

Anyways, he played around with it for a while before finally getting bored and dropping most of it all over the sidewalk, and then leading his owner on a merry chase before surrendering the money.

After that little show, the dog owner decided we needed to see them doing some real tricks. So she got out her dog treat stuff, and they all surrounded her and stood on their hind legs. Pretty unimpressive after the whole money thing!

Notice the bored dog on the chair–he’s not falling for any of it.


After all of that, I expect you to be an expert on what makes a Chinese dog, so tell me: which one of these is a Chinese dog, and which one is American?





I have faith in your intelligence, so tell me in the comments!

6 thoughts on “Small, Ugly, and Alone

  1. AJ

    Dear Annika,

    Thank you so much for your blog — and for introducing us to the Chinese doggies! I see small… I see off-leash … but I don’t see ugly. ~/~ They are all so adorable! A whole city of dog lovers — so much so that they appear to be welcome everywhere! Tell me, are they allowed in restaurants? Grocery stores? In your apartment, maybe? ~/~


  2. Caleb Nelson

    I’m with RC. The one dog is with a person we all know who has never been in China. The other dog is obviously in the place where you took most of the other pictures in the post. So yes, please make the quiz harder!

  3. RC

    Well, since I recognize Mara, I’ll use my intelligence and other deductive skills and guess that A. Is Chinese and B is American ;-D hahaha

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